ppw0

How come the most logical decisions hurt the most sometimes? ... I guess this is why logic usually isn't filled with emotions.

Absolution has been reached... and I will now delete all my accounts to further myself so I can try to not hurt as much. There are other reasons why I'm deleting accounts and creating new ones... this harrassment must stop. Hopefully once this is done I will be able to be free of it. This should also put Chris and any future "friends" at ease.

I will leave this announcement up for a few days and then create a new account. those that wouldn't mind me following them still please let me know.

Public post. ^______^

Tomarrow after gymboree, I will make a stop to the police station.

Must do what I have to do to protect myself because I can't rely on anyone else to do it for me. Otherwise I'll end up with more knives in my back. Besides a woman must do whatever she can to protect herself. Stalkers in general have serious issues that need to be dealt with. Maybe if their mothers took better care of them or spent more time to teach them morals instead of running around to see who's bed they can jump in the fastest, then maybe those kids would have had a chance of growing up somewhat decent. However in this case its just the kids imitating the "grown influence" in their lives.

I'm currently reading a book, "The Year of Living Biblically - one mans humble quest to follow the Bible as literally as possible" By A.J. Jacobs. Its about a non practising Jewish man who considers himself secular. He has a toddler and was wondering what religion could teach both of them since religion is what founds morals for most. It has its hilarious moments and plain stupid moments. However right now he's coming to realize certain lessons from the Bible.

From it came this Gem, "...Your moral failings will affect your kids' ability to make the right choices. If you beat your son, he'll be more likely to beat his son. ...What better deterrent could there be to bad behavior?"

All I could think upon reading this was that it was true. I mean its obvious, but its put down on paper without muddling you with an overflow of excess words.

^_^ Obviously some people need to take this into consideration when raising their other kid since the mistakes with the first cannot be undone. Of course I will keep that quote in my head as one to live by, and its my reason for doing what I must when it comes to TPTBADH!

http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2008/05/16/20080516internet-suicide0516-ON.html

http://publicbroadcasting.net/kwmu/news.newsmain?action=article&ARTICLE_ID=1310178§ionID=1

http://www.informationweek.com/news/internet/social_network/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=207801021&cid=yahoo_search


Since Chris' "ex" lives in Missouri... and her family keeps bothering me on myspace and won't stop no matter the warnings.... heres why they should stop. It is illegal, at least in the state of Missouri, to be harrassing me. If it continues I do have options and will fully use those options. I've warned him to get them to stop but he refuses to do anything about it. So now he's going to most likely whine when I do what I have to do. Lord knows how much he loves that little family of his and will bitch when they get into trouble with the law.

Since I have aquired an unwanted stalker my blog from here on out will be made...

FRIENDS ONLY!

If you have an issue with that, too damn bad.

Heres the initial email and the only response I gave the kid... also informing you all for shits and giggles, that after his HOrrendous reply to a previous entry on LJ he tried to get me to friend him on my Myspace account. HIlarious how little smarts a so called intellegence specialist has. But he's in the army so... *snicker*.

This is mainly to prove the liar that dipshit is. And yes i'm being mean, but as far as I'm concerned he started this shit and has kept prodding it so now its my turn to be the ass.

Enjoy christopher. Eat your wheaties boy cause you just got caught in a lie.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Angela
Date: Jan 8, 2009 10:18 PM


If you want to get chris in trouble I'm not the person to be contacting. I may be his wife, but as far as his actions go the third time around I no longer care. It'll be a lesson you learn as you get older. Men want everything and bitch when they can't have it all. Boils down to the fact that they are pretty low pigs on the totem pole.

If Chris does that it wouldn't surprise me, he's proven that to me already, not once but twice. If you want to cause him trouble, thats your deal. Not quite sure whats going down but perhaps you should keep this between you and your mother because I'm not going to interfere. So with that being said, I wish you the best of luck with your life, and if your mom annoys you that much just calm down, chill out, and think about something else.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Gayla
Date: Dec 28, 2008 7:32 AM


This is Jessica-Gayla's oldest daughter-ya know the one that is causing all the problems. Anyways my sister Megan told me that Chris is supposed to drive to Missouri tommrow to go and see my mom. If your R wondering how i got into my moms myspace account well thats easy she never changes her password and its always my name. Shes such a dork. Anywho I dont think that it is wise that Chris goes to Missouri. I can cause alot more troblue, cuz thats what im good at doing here latley and im totally pissed off at my mom anyways. And anyways my mom has a boyfriend/fiance. I will be checking this off and on all day cuz i know my mom is working today.

Things that are lovely during the holiday season: (in no particular order)

Fuzzy warm cozy jammies
Fuzzy warm cozy socks
Shiney new bags
Toys for my Dillan
Warm fuzzy footie jammies for my Dillan
Family
Friends
Food (what I can have of it)
Making Gingerbread houses
Reading books to young siblings and my son
Being swampped with so many presents to wrap
The ability to forget life sucking for a moment

Not so great things this holiday season:

Remembering who I couldn't spend it with... and not having presents for my little angel under the tree.

The inability to eat whatever I want.

When family goes home.

Getting emails from Husbands Ex number 1's eldest daughter informing me about my so called husband making a trip down there to visit her mom when her mom is already engaged to another guy.


I moved hundreds of miles away from the turd to get away from that drama bullshit and it follows me whereever I go. It fucking seeks me out no matter what I do! I'm so goddamn tempted to call turd asses chain of command and inform them of his damn plans and the fact that I'm still being harrassed by his ex's families and his fucking actions. I'm a high risk pregnant woman who moved from Tennessee to Pennsylvania to get away from that bullshit and maybe have a viable baby. But if this shit keeps up I'm going to go fucking ballistic.

Why the fuck should I have to pay for HIS bad decisions and actions? Why should I have to pay for his indiscrepancies???

I get that he will NEVER tell me the truth even if he's caught fucking her in bed he'll still claim he's innocent. He will never tell the truth and thats partially why I want the divorce as well as ex's that continually get put into the marrige. Unfortunately a divorce is only doable after the baby is born.

I just want away from this I am sick and tired of it and his dumb ass.

I never thought that I was a horrible person enough to deserve this bullshit that he's putting me through.

I'm just... beyond baffled. Last night I was told by him that I need to tell him what he needs to do for us to stay together... for another chance. I told him and yet... not quite it. It seems as if he doesn't care. He asked, I told him to leave his past in the past, to get over his past. Meaning get over Gayla. Today I told him I needed proof, something to tell me that somehow he was indeed telling me a shread of truth. The way of doing it? Let me see that phone bill from october. So he sat there and scrolled down very fast past those phone calls to Gayla that I saw. He wouldn't scroll back up to them.

He wouldn't let me see the phone bill, just the parts he wanted me to see. So once again he's proven to me that he's only words and nothing more than that. An empty hollow shell of lies and words with nothing to back it up. He knows full well who I keep in contact with, and I'm not afraid of letting him know it, even if he doesn't like it. I guess I have more balls than he does in that aspect.

He claims that I'm the big liar. Yeah I guess I lie when I tell him I'm going to do things, like maybe clean, but then don't feel like it and do it another day. Or do a sexual favor for him that he use to ask of me all the time and don't do it cause I didn't feel like it. But I've never told him an outright in your face lie. My "lies" were more of a mood thing, I meant to do it but it just didn't happen cause I didn't like to perform a certain act, or was too ill feeling to do something. His are in your face lies such as his inability to tell me he kept in contact with Gayla this past month when he says he didn't hear a word from her. Or his inability to tell me he called her and was only able to fess up to it once I found out it was in his notepad. (coincedentally he erased the text messages and the phone call from his phone. He just forgot to erase the notepad which I know he makes it a point to remember now.) All I asked of him was to be upfront when he contacts her. He can't do that though...

Tomarrow, he's going to do the worse thing a liar can do. Lie in a court to an official... a judge. His speeding ticket he got last month? He claimed he was in a rush to get home to me since I apparently "called him" to complain about something was wrong with the pregnancy. He told that to the ticketing officer, and even called me to fake it. If you haven't figured it out, there were no problems, I didn't even call him until after that ticket incident that day. So he now printed out everything about my condition and is going to try and feed it to the Judge. All to get out of a speeding ticket.

I think its wrong but its his choice. He knows that I should not be contacted by court officials to speak or say anything in court about it because I will not play along. I will not lie in court to a judge. I've spent my marrige to him defending him in one way or another for what seems most of those two years. Somehow that doesn't seem right to have to be constantly playing mother hen to your husband whenever he gets in trouble or doesn't get his way. Yet this proves concretely that he is that big of a liar... Maybe it would be more understandable if this ticket would be the "suspension" ticket... but this is his first ticket. He's in no danger of losing his license...

I don't know. I just don't understand how his brain works. He's even taken issue with the fact that my mom is coming a day early to see the ultrasound at my specialists appointment. To the point where he told me its him or her. He cannot share at all and reminds me more than ever of a spoilt rotton child with dirt all over and candy dribbling out his mouth sitting in the dirt kicking and screaming that he's not getting his way.

Its sad because... it seems wrong that a wife could think of her husband that way. But it also seems wrong that the husband could act so unbelievably selfish that the wife has no choice but to see him that way.

I know I've tried to spoil him by letting him get whatever he wanted and even encouraging him to do so. I knew he always wanted certain things and I never saw what was wrong with letting him get it somtimes... but I guess I didn't realize that I've been allowing him to do that with almost everything.... ex girlfriends and her kids (until I couldn't take it no more), sex for the most part until recently, electronics, games, books, almost bringing his father with us and having me take care of him full time... During that time I didn't really think too hard about what it was that I wanted, what I wanted to be spoilt with... and I've got the things to prove it... nothing. I asked for a table... he put it off until my mother got me a dining room set. So then I asked for a bedroom set. We looked one day and that was it... and that was me fighting him to go look for it too. But then he started to talk about getting a new mattress.

I quickly saw what I want go down the tube for something he wanted. So we never got the bedroom set... or the mattress... but it turns out its just as well. Yes those are just material things for the most part. But I've got nothing from him in the emotional sense... when we first got together I wanted to snuggle and cuddle.. but he didn't want to. He wanted sex first for a few minutes of cuddling... and again he got it that way. I soon got tired of it and that was basically it. Now though when our marrige is basically through he attempts to snuggle and cuddle... and I'm not comfortable with it. Where was the "just cuddling or snuggling" when our problems weren't this big? It was give him sex for a little... then talking... that was a different issue. It was talk to him while he was playing games cause he could pay attention to both. Apparently I didn't deserve to be looked in the eyes when I was talking to him. It was about him afterall. And yes Chris I know its not easy talking to me, I get angry alot. I yell alot... it releases stress for me and maybe that yelling could somehow make you feel as horribly as you make me feel many times. However I deserved a little more respect... you should have been able to put that game down and talk to me.

We spent alot of time together at home. You sat or layed there reading or playing your games... I sat there watching you play or watching the tv waiting for more interaction. It would only come when I got angry and made you talk/argue with me. Or as you said... distract you with sex. However you would immediately jump back onto your games or books when you got what you wanted.

I spent most of this marrige either angry or depressed. I very Rarely ever felt loved by you... you can argue that you do or did... but I didn't feel it. I always felt something was always put before me or dillan, whether it was a video game, a book, a shiney new toy, sex, one of your ex's, or one of your ex's kids.

Theres a limit to what a person can take. That limit showed itself when you declared your love to gayla... not only in front of me but behind my back when you did it secretly. I sat and took the entire "we're moving her with us" which turned into "She's actually moving in with us" game you had going on. I lived through it, and I feel I got stronger. Then I found your "love you hunny" texts to her and for once I stood up for myself for the first time. I called her and let her have it. Then I informed you... and your response was why did I do it. It seemed as if you were more worried about her than your marrige. Even in those damn emails you sent to her where she was calling me all sorts of names you were more worried about her feelings than me and our marrige. Especially when you told her you still loved her and wanted to be with her and if I said anything to her that she considered bad you would "have a talk with me".

Yet you didn't once ever stand up for your own wife... but you stood up for your ex girlfriend. Now you say you did once I brought that up. However that just popped up in the air a year and a half later... and given your history of lying... I don't believe it. Especially when its about Gayla.

When your husband continually runs for their ex girlfriend... and it started one week after we got married... how does that make the wife feel? Loved? Never. Appreciated? no. Cherished? definately not. Did you honor me? Not once. I've felt betrayed one week into our marrige and from that point on.

Yes yes you say maybe you made a mistake thinking Gayla and I could be friends and that Dillan could grow up with her kids. Its not a maybe Chris. Its a definately. Did you ever stop and ask me if thats what I wanted in our marrige? Its the equivilant of me saying... Hey remember that guy in Highschool that I had a huge crush on? Samuel? Well he and his kids are moving in with us and we'll be one big happy family whether you like it or not.

I never did that. I had the chance to stay in contact with him... but I found out quickly he was bad news and would cause trouble for us and cut off contact with him. Not just for me but for us. Yet you cling to anything that could possibly kill us.

Gayla... then Stacy. You say it was a joke... if it was it went beyond too far. I don't believe it was though... too detailed to be anything but an attempt for an affair. Didn't mean you were going to get it but you obviously tried to see if you had a chance. Its like a parade of Chris' ex's.

You told me before we got married that if I didn't fulfill your sexual desires then you would go out and find someone who would. That sounded beyond selfish then, but I thought that maybe you would have outgrown it. I was wrong... and it still seems selfish of you to this day. So you obviously tried... you even used it as an excuse in therapy for the way you acted. Forget the fact that Nathan had died not five months before... that I still needed time to heal... to come to terms somewhat with the fact that I'll never have him in my arms again. You had to have your desires fulfilled... and you can't say that I didn't try to. I once again put aside what I needed... and this time I really did need it, it wasn't a want... it was a need.... and I gave you what I could give. Not enough for you obviously.

It was about you... your needs... your wants. I don't listen to what you say... its true sometimes. I get tired of fulfilling everything you want and never getting anything in return but more stress and even more responsiblity of taking care of you. So I don't listen sometimes... but then you never listen to me at all.

If it weren't for Dillan... I think I would have felt completely alone in this relationship. Most of the time it feels as if he's the only one that has any ounce of caring for me. He's been the one to make me smile through this entire past seven months. He may not be able to listen to what I'm saying but he's actually there paying attention to me as I pay attention to him.

He's a little miracle for me... my light in all of this. That is also where I find more of my strengh. He is what lets me know that not everything I do can be for you. It has to be for him, and me too.

After that Stacy incident I finally realized that I had been spoiling you a bit too much and not myself at all. So I went out and got my own phone after having to hear him complain about my texts and what it was costing him. I still cannot believe with all the stuff he has aquired during our marrige... how much money he himself wastes on various things such as carfax reports on cars we never saw only to buy a brand new car... on an internet card that was never used by him, on yet another psp, on a second digital camera, on a different phone charger and several new batteries (and yes it is possible for a human to have only one battery and live on one charger), on a bluetooth headset that now just sits there and collects dust, on the same game but it contains an expansion, on games he still has yet to play... that just being a fraction on what I consider wasteful spending he complained to me about an extra fifty dollars that I actually put to use.

I stay at home all the time... I rarely go out. I don't spend money out the ass... yet he can sit there and complain about me spending fifty dollars one time? He goes to taco bell or KFC practically every work day! I never complain about that... I only brought it up to him once during an argument about wasteful spending. He buys strategy guides off of amazon... books as well. I didn't complain. Its one of his hobbies. He has a hundred and fifty going to savings bonds (which are all in his name too), he has an allotment going to his own personal bank account of a hundred dollars a month, and I don't complain about that either. He put 300 in the stock market as well recently. He has money going into tsp as well. Yet he can sit there and complain that we don't ever save enough money and looks at me as if I'm doing all the magical spending.

Well I'm sorry I cost you ten dollars more a month in electricity... I'm sorry I spent fifty dollars more one month on the cell phones... I'm sorry I need to take showers... I'm sorry I need to eat, I'm sorry your son does the same. I'm sorry your family actually might need to use some of that money to live off of. I'm sorry I don't generate you some money every month.

But then I'm not really that sorry cause I know in the end its not me spending all the money. Cause you use the cell phones, you use the water, you use the electricity, you live in the apartment, you eat the food as well. Plus you get all your toys, you get the savings, you get the bonds, you get the car, you use the gas, you get to eat out at lunch every day, and you get the stocks. You want to know why you can't save any money? Well stop looking at me. I may have costed you a whole fifty dollars more one month... but that was it. Its you. Its where YOUR putting the money, its where YOUR spending the money... yet you come complaining about it to me.. and not only me but my parents. Why couldn't you really tell them where ALL the money is going instead of complaining about what just I use?

So... my husband wants to keep a sinking ship afloat when we don't even have lifesavers. His only reasons for wanting me to stay are easily shot down. Family... Is it good to show your children how to behave selfishly, how to fight everyday, how to scream in each others faces? Sometimes its just better to let them know that sometimes things don't work out, and you have to be adult enough to see it and accept it. That even if two people can't live together they can still care enough about their children to raise them to become good human beings. Showing a child hate and anger and fighting is never good.

Love? Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be married. You and Gayla have proven that. Besides... its not me as a person you love... you love what I do for you and what I use to be able to offer to you. I actually use to love you for you... I even looked past the lies and all the hurt you've done to me because it was you I loved. But now there is no trust. I'm not willing to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder or wondering if its Gayla your trying to mess around with again or some other woman. How could I love someone that would continually treat me like that and think its okay?

Things we planned on doing together? What plans? buy furniture? I hate to say this but there was no plan except for me finishing my degree which my parents were going to pay for. We didn't have any plans. The only plans that have been made by you all occured during this month. "When I come back we should look for a house". That may have been what I wanted when we first got together, but its been shot down one too many times and it turns out its for the best as well.

Truth is... I'm probably not a good person. However I'm not a bad person and I deserve much better than this. I deserve better than you have treated me these past two years. Now you sit there worried about what I write in my blogs... worried that I'm out spreading lies about you. Worried I'm tarnishing whatever online reputation you may have, worried that I'm telling MY friends about you.

Chris... I don't have a reason to lie when telling the truth makes you look worse than any lie. However my blog is like my diary, its only worth showing to someone I can trust who won't lie to my face about anything and everything. Like you said... you lied from the beginning of our relationship so that I would like you. That wasn't right... but despite knowing that I thought I saw something in you that I liked. However a habitual liar gets good at it I suppose... and right now to me you are a habitual liar.

I wanted to believe you... I wanted to trust you... I wanted you to love me too...

but you couldn't let me... you couldn't give me a reason... and you couldn't respect me enough to...

As most of you know, I got a new cell phone and I've already passed the number out to those that I thought may want it. If you didn't get it and would like it, just do that myspace thing you do. The circumstances of the new cell phone... well can't be repeated now. Definately one less thing to argue about and now he definately doesn't have to show me the phone bill, plus I don't have to hear any more whining about the amounts of texts. So its good overall.

Like I've said before, I expect Chris to be in contact with his ex's since he has this nasty habit of keeping in contact with them even though he knows he'd get in trouble. However my main thing is him HIDING it. Irritates me to no end, yet he can sit there and complain that he can't look into my account to see what I'm saying.

So today I was getting my under arm deoderant (cause you know my underarms just smell so wonderful without it) and it happened to be on the computer desk. Walk by and see an email from

*drumroll*

Ex number 1! Miss Gayla.

You remember... the one that he dragged into our marrige one week after we got married? Mmmhmm.

He closed it quickly and when he was told to bring it back up he delayed and delayed and delayed just waiting for dealerships to answer their phones for ten minutes of unanswered phone calls on a sunday. Then he logs me on to his other email (I am positive that he has a second yahoo account and he can deny it all he wants, but like him I can think whatever I want. Again like him I don't need any justification) Lo and behold... no emails from her.

So I tell him to bring it up, he won't cause "I need to find it" blah blah blah. I brought up that it had to be from another account unless he coincedentally deleted it. Which at that point became his new excuse... right after I said that. Oh and that it was actually an old email.

Even if it was, its mighty suspicous how he was acting. All I wanted was for him to fess up to it but he cannot. So we got in huge ultra mega argument which resulted in me calling my parents so that they could calm me down (and they did). I got dillan and walked out of the house but Chris decided to follow me, so instead of driving to the store I started to walk off just so I could cool off. He followed me.

So fine I go to the car put dillan in and I'm still on the phone with my family so what does chris do? Hop into the car as well.

He couldn't let me be, he knew that after I got finished talking to my parents that I would be getting a cell phone of my own since I told him that when I was going out the door. So he sits there for a few minutes before

*drumroll*

He calls Gayla.

This supposed "man" wanted to work things out so badly before, and he actually thought it was working out just fine that he had the audacity to ask for sex before I left for Pa. Yet he has to sit there and hide things from me when quite honestly he just needs to be upfront about the stuff. I'm done getting pissed about him talking to ex's, I've just come to expect it out of him. I just want him to be honest about it.

I talk to Sam, I text Sam. Do I do anything inappropriate with Sam? nope! Chris can't say the same because telling an ex that you love them and want to be with them is inappropriate when you are married.

I don't know maybe its because I was raised with morals, enough to know better, and how to talk to other guys without defiling my marrige vows. Love Honor (which he has never done) Cherish (what he's done to me sure shows that he can't and doesn't).

I may not like Gayla, I might think stacie is a bit of an airhead, but I don't blame them for his bad actions. Anyone that cannot let go of their ex's and leave them in the past where they belong, cannot go forward in any relationship. Thats basically where we are with TONS of bad blood between the two of us. I just can't help but think that if ex's were never dragged into a marrige that was suppose to be between two people instead of the three it had become, that maybe we could have worked on the other issues. But as it stands, theres no chance when a person has to lie about things like that. Not only that but goes out of their way to piss off their wife when she's trying to calm down.

I've said this before... He couldn't even have enough respect for me to wait until I got to PA. He made this decision for me, and its probably the easiest one to boot.

Whoever Chris ends up with after this, I hope he learns to let go of his ex's or he'll never be happy and whoever it is he ends up with, won't find any measure of happiness with him either.

EDIT: Congrats voters of California, the majority of the voters proved that they prefer to discriminate. The shame they bring to themselves for the hate they display.

----

Oh people of california... seriously why are you denying two people the right to marry??? They should have equal rights, same as you. But what am I saying, it doesn't matter, too many selfish people that reside in this world as witnessed by the two? Three? other states that effectively closed the book on homosexuals getting married.

One day when we are taken over by an alien race (hahaha) I hope they put those states on the block first damn it. I know my homestate of arizona is one of them, and considering the areas involved it was no surprise that same sex marriges were knocked down. However its still shameful of them to do that.

Marrige is a right in this country. Its not a priviledge. Want to know why? A woman or man can marry anyone they choose even if their family doesn't agree (except a person of the same sex apparently). If it were a priviledge guess what? You'd have no say in who you marry. So why is it that everyone who's straight can have this right but homosexuals cannot? Like how only men could vote many many years ago? Or that people with colored skin could not vote, could not live their own lives many years ago. Its called discrimination.

Apparently this type of discrimination is the new and popular thing for states to do. Shame on them. The USA apparently can never be free of this discrimination, the need to make themselves feel better over another group of people.

Don't fool yourselves its not about "saving the institution of marrige" If they wanted that, then they'd send every married couple into some sort of marrige saving class because marrige is obviously a failing institution anyway when people are taught that its okay to hit, disrespect, lie to, or cheat on their spouse. They don't learn it from thin air. Before people can deny the right of any two people marrying why don't they try and fix the institution they claim to be so special.

From what I hear Prop 8 is looking like its going to pass... however the absentee ballots (and theres alot of them) still need to be counted. Hopefully there will be a definate answer by Friday. C'mon absentees of Cali, make the world proud. Show us that ignorance can stop with you guys!

^_^;

Oh and before I forget, GO OBAMA! and awesome of McCain to be so gracious in the end! Now if only he could have been like that throughout the race... it might have been closer and there would have been more nail biting.

First off a disclaimer... the post below is something I got texted via myspace from an old high school friend. She is very religious and currently that is what is helping her get through her difficult times. This is why I'm not going to get up in her face about it, however it is important for you all to realize that she does NOT live in California, nor does she have the right to vote in california. I know some people are concerned about the ever so popular Proposition 8 and want to voice their opinion over it, but really they should be doing that to people who can vote not a bunch of people who live no where near california. In essence you are harrassing them in the end.

In case anyone is unaware on what its about, go here http://www.smartvoter.org/2008/11/04/ca/state/prop/8/.

And FYI my take on it...If I had a say I'd be voting No since equality is something all americans strive for and NO ONE should be descriminated against due to religion, color of skin, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.

Heres the post:

"proposition 8 does three simple things:

It restores the definition of marriage to what the vast majority of California voters already approved and human history has understood marriage to be.


It overturns the outrageous decision of four activist Supreme Court judges who ignored the will of the people.


It protects our children from being taught in public schools that “same-sex marriage” is the same as traditional marriage.


Proposition 8 protects marriage as an essential institution of society. While death, divorce, or other circumstances may prevent the ideal, the best situation for a child is to be raised by a married mother and father.


The narrow decision of the California Supreme Court isn’t just about “live and let live.” State law may require teachers to instruct children as young as kindergarteners about marriage. (Education Code § 51890.) If the gay marriage ruling is not overturned, TEACHERS COULD BE REQUIRED to teach young children there is no difference between gay marriage and traditional marriage.


We should not accept a court decision that may result in public schools teaching our kids that gay marriage is okay. That is an issue for parents to discuss with their children according to their own values and beliefs. It shouldn’t be forced on us against our will.


Some will try to tell you that Proposition 8 takes away legal rights of gay domestic partnerships. That is false. Proposition 8 DOES NOT take away any of those rights and does not interfere with gays living the lifestyle they choose.


However, while gays have the right to their private lives, they do not have the right to redefine marriage for everyone else.


CALIFORNIANS HAVE NEVER VOTED FOR SAME-SEX MARRIAGE. If gay activists want to legalize gay marriage, they should put it on the ballot. Instead, they have gone behind the backs of voters and convinced four activist judges in San Francisco to redefine marriage for the rest of society. That is the wrong approach.


Voting YES on Proposition 8 RESTORES the definition of marriage that was approved by over 61% of voters. Voting YES overturns the decision of four activist judges. Voting YES protects our children.


Please vote YES on Proposition 8 to RESTORE the meaning of marriage."

-------

What I'm confused by in this argument is when they drag children into it. Prop 8 is about same sex marrige, not about children. Where in prop 8 does it state that the schools are going to start teaching about same sex marrige? Even if they do thats really the least of their worries. In fifth grade the teacher was reading us the Lorena Bobbet case from the news paper. Anyone else remember that? That same month through that fifth grade class, through the question from another fifth grader I learnt what oral sex was.

So its okay for me to learn what oral sex is, that a woman may be able to cut off a mans penis according to the laws of another country, and that even through she was raped she couldn't defend herself the way she was taught. However lord forbid I learn that two people of the same sex can get married if they choose to do so. Sounds crazy to me. I learnt about all the fighting between native americans and "pilgrims" when I was in second grade. I remember drawing a pilgrim with "dead eyes" for a project in school. In fourth grade when I lived in Okinawa we went on a field trip to the "suicide cliffs". In which you had to go through a series of caverns that actual japanese soldiers use to live in and then you learned what suppoku (sp?) was, and that mothers and fathers threw their kids off the cliffs and then themselves because the emporor commanded them to.

So in school you can learn about ritualized killings and war, rape and sex, but Lord forbid you learn that two people of the same sex can get married?

In school you are exposed to EVERYTHING. Thats why alot of schools have metal detectors for goodness sakes. Don't try and bring schools into this.

Truth be told children will learn what they want to learn.

You don't like it? Shell out that thirty grand for private school. Hell send them to catholic school where the nuns will smack your little angels around with rulers or duct tape their mouths if they sing while using the john. Props to my dad for that story!

I made dillan a mummy outfit and did up his make up. Lots of work for just a couple of hours of use, but I think it turned out okay. Sadly this apartment community consists mainly of single people and childless couples so there weren't many places to get candy or very many trick or treaters to give candy out to. So now we have a surplus of candy.

Heres some pictures of the little monster. No I couldn't figure out how to turn them the correct way, the picture program was having a hissy fit. I will eventually fix it so don't worry.

Today Chris accused me of plotting his death with Kane.

Seriously.

It was a total WTF kind of moment that kind of makes you wonder if thats what he's actually planning on doing to me.

Documenting the idiocy that is my so called husband. Sorry Chris you're not worth going to jail over but nice try there bud!

Yeah Kane don't like you and has said that much and more, but as my friend after hearing all the shit you put me through of course he's going to not like you. You think your going to come out smelling like a rose after all this??

Point of the matter is Christopher, I'm not that diabolical nor am I that mean. I have said numerous amounts of times that I want my son to have a father even if things don't work out between us. A father is useless dead, and again, YOU ARE NOT WORTH GOING TO JAIL OVER.

I admit there are times when I think gee, spousal homicide should be legalized, but that is by no means "Plotting your death". Just because you do not like the fact that Kane text messages me does not mean anyone has it out for you. You are being far beyond paranoid and you seriously need to grow the hell up.

Oh yeah and take the damn spy ware off the computer too. (doubt that will happen and am positive that there will be a huge denial of that even though I've seen it with my own eyes)

I done bad... simply because it made me feel bad. It got him out of the house, which really was needed, but I think I did it the wrong way. Stressed the situation out more than it needed to go, but I had to for the new baby's sake.

You see... I had an OB appointment today, and I saw the baby and heard its heartbeat. It was nothing more than a peanut with arm and leg nubs that happened to have a heartbeat and jumped about on free will. Almost like a strangely heartwarming science fiction movie. And then the doctor gave me my list.

Angela you are fucked up in so many ways.

Two genes that desire to give you blood clots while pregnant so you will be loaded up on folic acid and a type of injectable heprin.

You may have pre eclampsia, you need to collect your urine for 24 hours and let us examine the strange excretions. We'll let you know if your screwed even more at a later date.

Your last blood tests from your last baby shows signs that your present or any future babies could be born with birth defects... maybe we'll look into that.

You will monitor your glucose levels and inform me if they are consistantly above 200. If so they will put me back on insulin injections too.

And yes the C section is a possibility since last time you tore big time.

They're going to throw me at specialists in Nashville so that I can be treated like an experamental animal in a chemical lab.

With the presence of the male in the house I felt stressed and felt it getting even worse, and I knew that it could make this baby even worse. So I did what I felt I had to do... which was way too harsh but... unfortunately theres no clean and friendly way to get this accomplished. He hadn't been listening when I said I needed to get away to get away from the stress, that I needed him elsewhere to not be stressed out.

his response was that he was stressed out too and that I shouldn't matter more than him. his mistake was that he thought that I was doing this just for myself, if it were just myself I could take it. But I cannot risk losing this baby too.

And thats what it comes down to... the health of this baby. He can't come first anymore.

One time... shame on him... two times fuck this goodbye.



I got to save money first. I will be using a greyhound so you will know. My friends live on base

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Chris
Date: Sep 24, 2008 11:40 PM

Hahaha.... doesn't mean we can't meet to fuck you know... also depends on when you come and visit... she's going to be visiting family soon... you could come then maybe...

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ~Stacie~
Date: Sep 24, 2008 6:37 PM


Yea and his family. I cant visit you cause your wife might not like that

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Chris
Date: Sep 24, 2008 11:30 PM

Coming here to visit him???

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ~Stacie~
Date: Sep 24, 2008 6:20 PM


Oh ok. Yea my friend is stationed where you are. I might have to talk a trip to visit him and his family

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Chris
Date: Sep 24, 2008 10:53 PM

Yes I did... and I can't answer that... what I am doing here is actually classified. Sorry. Not even my wife knows. Not that she asks because she knows I couldn't tell her even if she did.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ~Stacie~
Date: Sep 23, 2008 5:50 PM


Did u get my message about my friend being stationed where you are.
What do you do in the army

Because for some very odd reason hotmail will not load on my computer...

Happy birthday Kane!

Damn people stop growing up!

So I have a half naked diapered little man running around the apartment who is now responsible for me having to go to the damn dentist. Little turd gave my teeth a headbutt the other night and now my bottom teeth are hurting like crazy. Best part about all of this? Apparently Chris didn't sign us up for dental coverage, he thought that tricare would cover dental stuff too.

So not the case.

You have to pay to get dental coverage. Really this is how cheap the army is getting? Spend billions of dollars on weapons but they won't include family members onto the active duty members dental plans. Gee that makes me so not want chris to reenlist anymore if they won't take care of family's the way they said they do.

My teeth really hurt >_< and I hate dentists. And we have to pay out of pocket.

This just really sucks.


Oh and Chris got a ferret. The ferret likes Dillan... alot. Its kind of scary, but they are both completely insane/nuts and are made for each other. Pictures later.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrr @ Everything.

its 2 30 in the morning and I'm up being completely hormonal crying and not wanting to go to sleep.

just thought I could share this joy with everyone.

Alright, just an update for you. I'm to be induced on the fifth of April, although I will most likely have it moved to the seventh of April instead. We've still not decided on a name... if anyone has any suggestions please leave them in a comment.

So far we have Nathan, Micheal, and Shawn/sean was suggested. Middle name is Azriel... and as my brother pointed out to me it is also the name of the cat in Smurfs. I'm a child of the eighties as well and that didn't even cross my mind! He's a smurfaholic.

Anyway to let everyone know (specifically Star chan because I don't think I've ever written you an email back and I know you mentioned chatting once before), I do not have any messengers anymore. Simply because Malware kept coming in through them and driving me (thus driving chris) insane. We ended up wiping the compy, but I've not reaquired them as I do not want to deal with anymore malware or adware.

Also, this is bad and I'm sorry, but I've not been writing emails back. I know bad angela bad, but I've not had much of an attention span when it comes to my email accounts. If you really want to keep up with me I am on myspace. I'll unlock it for a short while. I've had to lock it before due to spamming friend requests that too were driving me nuts.